Friday, October 20, 2006
7:57 PM
「 never been the best 」
it seems like watever i do
no matter how much effort that i put on
i just can't control the output
it will never happen to be wat i've been desired for
the outcome will always be average, too average
where is the problem?
wat is my problem?
i know i'm not deserve for the best
but it shouldn't be such bad...
never expect it to be...
from this point
maybe i should revalue myself
the way of how i value things
outcomes can't be measure by the inputs
success not necessary come along with efforts
or perhaps the efforts can't be value by ourselves
instead, it's measured by another force
it can be luck?
or it can be fate?
or perhaps destiny?
on the other side, i feel all these r ridiculous
the problems are from myside
my point of view has been totally wrong
i've been overestimate myself
all becoz of the level of satisfaction, is so low
too high of confident, too lack of botherness
in fact, when the reality shows up,
then only realize, it hurts, the pain is there...
i'm just so fed up
loosing faith on studies
but sadly, this is the thing that's matter the most for me at this point...
